Forgiving Complex

Am I losing sleep or my mind?
I can’t count the days lost stuck inside this place.
Empty, wishing for the rain to come and fill the space.
The void I chose to leave untouched.
The moment you said enough was enough.
Caught in the middle between something that breathes life,
And another that wastes away my time.
I won’t burden you with previous lies.
I need to tie up loose ends instead of all these nooses.
Loosely, I think of what a time it is to be alive.
When dying doesn’t seem much of a sacrifice.
When living seems to be the only way to apologize.
But to be whole, I need to carry this weight all the way to the sun.
Let it dry up and wither away.
Crack open the wounds, bleed and let them heal again.
I need something more that I can feel.
Beyond just reaching for hands in my dreams.
Fighting sleep in my sleep.
I toss and I turn.
I crash and I burn.
I keep this candle of your memory.
Melting still frames across the back of my eyes.
Whatever is distorted or negative, I will try to repair.
Whatever you can use, take.
Take it all until there’s nothing left.
My heart is yours, even beyond the end.

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