Retrograde

Anticipation leading towards the edge of a cliff Down to the deeper valleys of what we don't know Careening off the mouth of the beast Lost in all senses, stuck in disbelief Where was the sun when every cloud came down The sky is falling, the sky is burning And we're all just fading now …

Sinking Season

I feel myself starting to unravel. Losing hope and finding nothing in return. I'm going to need back the things you stole. Some lungs to breathe and the thoughts that kept me whole. I'm willing to grasp at any sort of substance, anything worth its salt.  I'd even take back the imaginary belief that I …

Be Still Somewhere, Anywhere

It's been a long time. Too damn long considering what I traded away to get the respect you used to possess. I still have knots in my chest. They tighten with an icy grip as I spin into a mess. You might not have much these days, but you still have some sick power over …

Degrees of Separation

I know I haven't been myself lately. Problem is the self you had was never the self I was. Hell, sometimes I feel like someone else lately. I got used to numbing whatever that self was inside becoming what you had, what I thought was the only thing I had. So I cut the rope and …

Euphoria

Am I the only one who sold his soul without knowing the outcome? My bones lack empathy for the crows that wish to feed off of them. I'm not ready to go yet. Decaying can wait. The bottom isn't the lowest I've been. I assure you that hell isn't the end either. The negative space …

Disillusion

You sat me down and asked what's been bothering me. I can't find the words you'll want to hear, so you can fill in the blanks. I've been going through the motions, pretending I'm at my best. Failing to outrun the past, I refuse to embrace it. When my last words spoken to a loved …

Tell God I’m Asleep: A Memoir of Addiction

If only there was some way I could repeat that first time over again. Never got as good, only more urgent. And that urgency is what led to broken morals. I never did have much to begin with anyways. Which is why I am the way I am. I find it hard to believe that …

Emptiness Looks Good On You

I've accepted that my greatest sins are ones that won't be forgiven by something omnipotent. I've accepted that they are a part of me, a part of my story. And as much as I've changed my way of living, I can't shake the thinking or the feeling. I still find myself cutting off pieces of …

Gravity

As our feet fumble to find their footing, we get out of bed today. Not hopping, not skipping, not jumping to make that morning coffee. We check to see if the sun still rose, like everyone on social media said it would. It did. Much to our dismay. The dark days sometime seem more comforting …

Depth

Everything begins with some sort of purpose or so I've come to believe. Whether I was born with my disease or it's a manifestation of my youth, my life was ignited with a wildfire. Burning down everything the flames licked. What started out as entertainment led to the confinement of my being. What began as …