Disillusion

You sat me down and asked what's been bothering me. I can't find the words you'll want to hear, so you can fill in the blanks. I've been going through the motions, pretending I'm at my best. Failing to outrun the past, I refuse to embrace it. When my last words spoken to a loved …

Tell the World I’m Awake: A Memoir of Recovery

"I think a spiritual journey is not so much a journey of discovery. It's a journey of recovery. It's a journey of uncovering your own inner nature. It's already there." -Billy Corgan Woke up chasing feelings as fleeting as my dreams. Like a well running dry, my spirit is broken. All the while I'm counting …

Tell God I’m Asleep: A Memoir of Addiction

If only there was some way I could repeat that first time over again. Never got as good, only more urgent. And that urgency is what led to broken morals. I never did have much to begin with anyways. Which is why I am the way I am. I find it hard to believe that …

Emptiness Looks Good On You

I've accepted that my greatest sins are ones that won't be forgiven by something omnipotent. I've accepted that they are a part of me, a part of my story. And as much as I've changed my way of living, I can't shake the thinking or the feeling. I still find myself cutting off pieces of …

The Problem with Religion

"God has no religion." -Mahatma Gandhi First things first, I want to start off by saying that this isn't in any way a post about bashing your beliefs. Some points might anger you into thinking I'm mocking your religion but please take the time to read the rest. It's merely what I've come to understand …