Post Acute

Found no comfort in my isolation
I’d slip off the edge to feel again
I’ve memorized each passing shadow every time I descend
Nightmare suspended, my life upended
What’s left to neglect when personal hells resemble all that we can’t forget
At first it got harder to breathe, the air stinging my lungs
Until I got settled in letting my body succumb
Pressure, no longer
I’ve feared what I’ve feared for so long, it’s taken me under
Coming alive in remorse on my own accord
Detached from what used to save me, I sink down in each sleep
Each passing day feels more ugly
Beginning just to die again
Life has a way of repeating itself, like it’s all connected somehow
My beginning and my end
Tied together like a boat to shore
Floating in the water but still near the coast
I don’t want for nothing, I want everything
To feel it all, spilling out my chest
Overflowing with experience and feeling
Like I couldn’t be any more submerged in longing
The same questions keep dripping from my consciousness
Does each breath carry the same weight as yours
Are they attached to the same existence
If my dreams aren’t to be, then I accept that fate
Because in my head, we are all well fed
No hunger for purpose, no yearning for contact
Every piece meets its match, every end connects
But for reality’s sake it all fades away
And the picture my mind painted of you
Gets more weathered and cracked
Heavy work holding onto something
That time assures you slowly forget


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